Thirty Letters To Burn: A Letter To My Younger Self.

Dear You,

Well Me, I hope you look back on this from time to time, to remind yourself that everything changes come tomorrow. I hope you read this when things get tough. When you feel as if everything is going downhill, and there is no hope. I hope you read this when you're confused, when you're at a fork in road, you don't know which path you should head down next. I've done a lot of thinking, boy do I mean a lot of thinking. So much to the point of creating made up situations and problems that cause me stress on a day to day basis. Whether this be you 5 years ago, or a year ago, things have changed considerably. I'm proud of you, that's the first thing I'm going to tell you. You have overcome so many obstacles, you haven't been given an easy life, nor have you been given the hardest, but overall you've stayed strong when you were thrown a curve ball, when you were hit you got back up, and I admire you for your strength. You've made so many mistakes, some you can never take back, but that is okay, everyone makes mistakes and although you've made mistakes, they do not mask over all the things you've done exactly right. Never forget that.
I know that someday's it's hard to get out of bed, and all you want to do it wither away, and disappear. I know someday's it feels like nobody in the entire universe could feel what you are feeling, that absolutely no one could understand. I know that days it feel like your heart is going to explode inside your chest, but that is okay, you are allowed to feel hurt, you are allowed to be upset, you are allowed to feel angry, and heartbroken. You are allowed to cry. But never give up. You're stronger than that.
That person who constantly asks you if you're okay, is terrified it won't be. Don't take them for granted. That person is someone you will be so grateful for, you may not realize it right away, but it'll hit you in the face when you least expect it. Always keep that person close.
What you look for in a person is going to change. What you find attractive will change. The boy you're chasing after that doesn't seem to want you isn't going to be on your mind forever and years down the road you're going to laugh at the fact that you even wanted him in the first place.
You're going to make mistakes. I can't repeat this enough.
You might never forgive some people, but that's okay. If you can't find it in your heart to forgive someone they didn't deserve your heart in the first place.
You're going to find someone that will not compare to all the others, one that will drive miles to see you just for a few hours. One that will stay up all night talking about basically nothing and they're going to love cuddling just as much as you do. They'll respect your decisions and never question your motive. Someone that will make you feel like you're on top of the world and you're going to realize that sometimes you don't end up with these kind of people, but in your heart you'll always love them and as much as you're afraid to say it, you should always tell them, you'll regret not telling them.
You're going to get your heart broke a million and one times, even by the people you care about the most. It's okay to feel heartbroken.
When someone tells you they can't be with you because they're afraid they'll ruin you, what they're really saying is 'I'm afraid you're going to ruin me so please walk away from this because I don't know how.'
Trust your gut. If you think someone is cheating they probably are. And that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Don't deny it, and never blame yourself. Let it go, that person doesn't deserve you, no matter how much you two have been through together. You're going to stumble across someone worth while. You're going to find the bad before you find the good, but above all, never give up. You deserve the best.
You're beautiful just the way you are, you don't need to be thinner or fitter or prettier. Stop listening to that pessimistic voice in your head and remember you are unique and there isn't a person in the world that is like you.
Be true to yourself. Never let a man, or a friend, or your family throw away your morals. No matter how much you want them in your life, you matter first.

Love, Sherice.