First Love.

A lot of us have resentments against our first love, and we're angry that person had to be the first person that we loved and the first person who broke out heart. That we put our trust in this person and they broke it, but we shouldn't be. First loves are our first lessons in love. We learn valuable lessons that we put toward future relationships, we learn what we want, we learn what we don't want. We shouldn't hold any resentment, we should be grateful that we got to truly experience those feelings.

I spent a lot of my time thinking I was in love with someone when I was younger, when truly I hadn't even experience what it was like go love just yet. When I finally knew what love was I was in 9th grade. My first love was with a boy who I had met at the beginning of middle school, and who I would destroy by the end.  I wasn't always kind to him, and I regret it. The view he had on me by the end of our friendship/relationship was terrible. 3 years I led him on, playing cruel games, trying to be a girl I wasn't. I had talked on the phone with him for hours, I had spend countless days with him, and never once did I regret them. I truly believe I wanted to be with him, and that we were supposed to be together if not for my troubles, and my depression. I knew I could always count on him, and the heart breaking thing is he couldn't ever count on me, because it was always about me. It haunts me to this day what I put him through in the last few months of our friendship. No matter how bad he was to me, what I did will always outweigh it. I have made my amends, and I will always have a special place for him in my heart, perhaps if we weren't so young when we had met things would have been different.

To my first love: Thank you for showing me things no one else could, thank you for helping me realize my selfishness and become a better person. I am so grateful.

-S.M.

"There is no love like the first."

-Nicholas Sparks